About gifts for children

Parents want children to do good. They feel that through the gifts and express their love. However, do not always form their prepodneseniya, the psychological context in line with good intentions. Gifts for children often take on a completely different sense than investing in his parents. Go to "Children's World" followed by the father and son and see how they look around, feel the toys on the shelves. Father advance happy that will make your child a pleasant, pleased him. A four-year boy suddenly saw something, and all forces pulled out of a dad: "Dad, get me out of the red car." His father, after detailed consultation with the "product" busily replied: "Son ... It does not quite fit. Crudely made quickly broken.'s Better I'll buy another one. It is expensive, but a pleasure to watch!" Buy a. His father proudly presents his son a car, but on the face of a boy not a genuine joy that only the light, but rather embarrassing. Thaicom it looks like something on the red car, then bought a gift. "What you do not thank me, synochek?" - Asked the father.

The child succumbed to the pressure of his father, bought the car but did not become for him attractive, she does not have a value for him as the one he chose himself. The good intentions of the father did not reach the addressee because he forgot who makes fun - me or his son, and whose choice, therefore, important. If you decide to make a pleasant child, keep yourself from over-the wisdom that is in such situations often neglect the interests of becoming a little less erudite man. Besides, I can assure you, the child himself knows what it is not enough for him to play, and chooses not what is best for the sale, but that should be played for his subjects, that corresponds to their interests.

The above example - a small misunderstanding between father and son. However, in some families, there are certain traditions prepodneseniya gifts that children bring more negative feelings than pleasure.

Present as a means of control. Boxing Day - this is, of course, New Year's Eve. Santa Claus brings gifts to all children, small and large. But not for all children pre-day equally cheerful, not everyone is present and has the same share of happiness. It is not so much in the present as it might seem at first sight. Among the parents is well established is the "educational" tool. Over the last few weeks before the New Year baby is constantly hear: "If you behave so badly to, Santa Claus will not bring you presents." The child trusts you, and this period of time before the holiday is often very tense for him: "But if you do not get a gift? Because it was so that I did not ... Am I that bad that even Santa Claus will avoid me a party?"

In the kindergarten had to watch one scene.

Santa Claus from a large bag, one after another, enough gifts to children (gifts were purchased in advance by parents). Who received the car, who - designer, doll ... But one boy - only a bar of chocolate. After the holiday the children unanimously concluded: "You got the worst gift because they did not listen. You're bad!"

Then, by chance managed to learn that parents are deliberately arranged a situation in educational purposes.

The behavior of this boy really has not been brilliant. However, after such exposure is unlikely to become better. A public proof "plohosti" could lead to infringement of dignity and loss of faith in their abilities, that is what most often and is the reason for conduct not in conformity with the situation and needs of parents. If you want to change the child's behavior for the better, clearly separate "bad behavior" from "plohosti him as a person. Never say: "You're bad," "You're stupid", etc. This denigrates the dignity of the child and does not lead to improvement. Always specify what exactly you are unhappy. For example: "I do not like what you shalish at the table," "I believe that the boy should first greet the familiar adults. In such cases the child knows exactly what unhappy surroundings, and that should change. Effects that lead to understanding the child their "plohosti, only worsen the situation:" If I'm bad, I must behave badly! "

Should not interfere Santa Claus in our relationship with the child. Let he gives gifts to all children, because he loves children for their behavior is not just for what they have in this world.

The substitution of a gift of himself. Even as an adult, a man told one of the brightest unpleasant episodes of his childhood.

It was summer, and the boy a break from the nine-grandfather in the village. After some time he wrote a letter to parents, which asked parents to visit him on the day of birth. Soon he received a reply - a parcel, which was an electric toy railway, on which the boy dreamed of before. Yet the boy was extremely disappointed, barely able to contain her tears. He missed the parents, not to parovoziku ... Zhelannaya earlier game turned into a hated.

If priglyadetsya, substitution of a toy, a gift is not so rare, but we do not always notice it. Here, parents bought a board game, and give to daughter: "Go play. She leaves, but after some time returned and requested that his father played with it. "We can not - it sounds a response - maybe later." She gloomily back into the nursery.

Why, the child is not glad? Girls like to play, but she would like to spend time talking with parents, if only through the acceptance of gifts. When parents offer to replace a purchased game, it becomes for the child the meaning of the means by which the parents reject it. Who would enjoy this?

Ask about the children themselves: "Do you like when the give gifts?" - "It is - with the boy eight years. - Especially when the racing car." - "And what would you chose if you suggested that: a gift or father to play with you all Saturday?" The boy thinks for a moment, then said: "I like gifts, but if you would have to choose - better for a father played with me. ... Toys in fact non-living"

Children are often neglected their interests in order to communicate more with parents. But we, the parents are more inclined to do the opposite: instead of offering a child a game, gift, or just send him into the yard. Imagine for a moment, what would you feel if your child is on the offer to go with you to walk handed to you teddy bear and said: "Go with it, Now I do not have time - a lot of cases."

Child to feel that he loved the most important - feel that you are responsive, it takes into account the needs and interests, to feel solidarity with you. Gifts children (toys, etc.) provide new opportunities for games or other activities. Therefore, for the child, they often have a sense of "tools" of what the symbol of love of parents. Of course, they are thankful for them, but we would be very mistaken if they thought that the gifts could replace at least part of a sincere dialogue with the child.